Micro Real Estate

Smuckers Uncrustables: The Ultimate Guide to Pre-Made PB&J

Smuckers Uncrustables

Smuckers Uncrustables are the ultimate grab and go PB and J sandwich. They’re frozen sandwiches that do not need to be heated in a microwave or toaster. Uncrustables will thaw out on their own in an hour or less, depending on how hungry you are.

Varieties of Uncrustables

Thaw and Eat Uncrustables

These thaw and eat sandwiches come in a several different varieties, which are:

  • Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Uncrustables
  • Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jelly Uncrustabes
  • Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread Uncrustabes
  • Peanut Butter and Honey Spread Uncrustabes
  • Wheat Bread – Peanut Butter and Grape Spread Uncrustabes
  • Wheat Bread – Peanut Butter and Strawberry Spread (reduced sugar) Uncrustabes
  • Uncured Ham and Cheddar Bites Uncrustabes
  • Turkey and Colby Jack Bites Uncrustabes
  • Uncured Ham and Cheddar Cheese Roll-ups Uncrustabes
  • Turkey and Colby Jack Cheese Roll-ups Uncrustabes
  • Uncured Pepperoni Roll-ups Uncrustabes

As you can see, there are two varieties of strawberry uncrustables and the only chocolate uncrustable is the hazelnut spreat, which essentially makes it a Nutella Uncrustable – that is, if Smuckers was able to use the brand name of Nutella for their products, which they are not.

Heat and Eat Uncrustables

Then there are the heat and eat Uncrustable varieties, which are slightly less grab and go, but they are:

  • Uncured Pepperoni Bites Uncrustabes
  • Taco Bites Uncrustabes
  • BBQ Chicken Bites Uncrustabes

The uncrustable flavor that is missing from this list is clearly grilled cheese, in all of it’s glorious forms. Ham and cheese, pepperoni and cheese, bacon and cheese, and then all of the different types of cheese – cheddar, american, swiss – you name it, there should be an uncrustable for it. Now, I know Smucker’s needs to make decisions based on focus groups and data and all of that jazz, but some decisions should be made with your gut 😉

Are Smuckers Uncrustables Healthy?

Nutrition Facts for Uncrustables

Looking at the ingredients and the nutrition facts of the classic peanut butter and jelly uncrustables will lead you to believe that they are okay nutritionally. They are certainly not superfoods, and not as healthy as their recent competitors, Chubby Snacks and Frooze Balls PB&J, but uncrustables do have a decent amount of protein (6 grams) from the peanut butter and their calorie count is only 210 – they are kind of small IMO -, and only 10 grams of sugar. They’re honestly not nutritionally different from any white bread PB and J sandwich that you would make at home, unless you like to get fancy with different nut butters and fruit jams and jellies.

Smuckers Uncrustables: Only Part of a Balanced Lunch

I wouldn’t want to eat (or have my kids eat) just an uncrustable for lunch. It’s mostly empty calories, which is fine as long as there are nutrients coming from another part of the meal. Things like carrot sticks, granola bars, apple slices, and bananas (bananas go especially well with the chocolate hazelnut version – delightful) can help round out a lunch. And then there’s always potato chips.

Feeding Kids Can be Tough

There are way more varieties of thaw and eat than even just a few years ago, and I guess that’s because lunch is always a tough meal to get right quickly. At of pre-made foods are eaten by kids and parents are always trying to save as much time as they can to better enjoy their lives – which is tough with a few kids in need of constant attention.

Since families tend to spread out (i.e. grandparents can be hours away) and childcare is expensive, more and more families are driven to pre-made foods to attempt to run a more efficient household. If you are lucky enough to have some time on your hands and are able to make some PB&J sandwiches in batches, you could certainly make your own uncrustables. There are uncrustable molds that can cut the crust off and simultaneously squeeze the edges down on a sandwich to make a legit looking DIY uncrustable before you stick it in the freezer. Or, you could just make a batch PB&Js and stick them in the freezer until you’re ready to eat them. Or if you want to do something fun but not buy another kitchen gadget that you’ll probably only use a few times, you could use a cookie cutter for the uncrusting.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Science and Engineering

Either way just make sure that you put the peanut butter (or whatever nut or seed butter you’re using) on both slices of bread, and then put the jelly on one side. Having the nut butter on both sides creates a protective barrier – the nut butter is oily and the jam or jelly is water based and as we all know, water and oil don’t mix.

Using some science terms, the nut butter is hydrophobic an therefore creates a water barrier on the slice of bread. The bread is hygroscopic (meaning that it absorbs water), and since the jelly is water based the bread wants to absorb the jelly, which turns the sandwich into a gross, mushy mess.

Where can you buy Uncrustables?

Smucker’s is a huge company (J.M. Smucker Co) which is on the stock market (Symbol: SMJ) and has a market cap of about $15 Billion and an annual revenue of about $1.9 Billion, so Smuckers Uncrustables are available in every major supermarket. They are also available at warehouse stores like Costco and Sam’s Club in bulk Uncrustable sizes, which is great as long as you have the space in your freezer for a bunch of PB&J. Surprisingly, the options to buy Uncrustables on amazon are very limited, so don’t rely on ordering them.

A Smuckers Uncrustables Vending Machine?

This article will culminate similarly to the Chubby Snacks article, in that I think a Smuckers Uncrustables vending machine would do very well at schools or college campuses – though Frooze Balls are another up and coming competitor. Since uncrustables need to remain frozen until the day that they’re going to be eaten, the vending machine would need to be an ice cream vending machine. Which is great, because ice cream vending machines already exist, so Smucker’s could just slap their branding on a vending machine and sell all of their varieties from the one machine. Since there are no other vending machines like this, the Micro Real Estate is wide open to plop down hundreds of thousands of these vending machines across the U.S. And then round out the lunch with a healthy snack vending machine.

Well, at least until Chubby Snacks beats them to it!

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